I think about what needed to happen to get to this point in my life. I spent most of my life protecting myself so it has taken me a long time to understand certain parts of who I am in a deeper level. I mean, really understand them. I had struggled with binge eating for most of life, and went into treatment and into recovery after a breakdown when I was 25. In June 2017, I will celebrate 20 years in recovery.
I found on a bike at SoulCycle what was the perfect combination of things to do to learn to be in my body and to feel. It is what was most similar to my experience as an opera singer, but with much more freedom. Because of that freedom to be, to breathe, to heal, I sort of started becoming myself through riding. Music & movement I really believe is healing and awakening. As I took on the responsibility as an Instructor of helping other people discover who they are through music and movement, I began to discover and own parts of myself I had set aside.
I had to take a look at whether or not I was living as my heart spoke to me. And if I wasn't, what changes did I need to make? I knew after answering those questions, now was the time to make the changes I needed to live as truthfully as I could not just for myself, but for my son. It was now, not 5 years or 10 years from now. Scary? You bet. Worth it? YES!!
So I celebrate so many things. Womanhood. Motherhood. Sexual freedom. Freedom to choose at any age. Gratitude. Joy!!