GOALS

The driving force behind how much I love food is making people happy. Even though as a food stylist is a little less direct, I get that in my everyday life. I'm making all my friend's birthday cakes. I'm making their babies first birthday cakes. I make everything like that and I love that. That's what it comes down to first - I don't mind waking up at 4AM to do something if it's going to make someone happy. Making other happy brings me so much happiness. After I wrote my book - which is something I always wanted to do but wasn't on my radar to happen when I was so young - but something happened where they pushed the publication date back. So it was done but I was in this limbo because there was nothing more I could do and it was just anxiety waiting for it to come out. I almost felt like I didn't enjoy the process of doing it because I was so focused on it. By the end, I realized I wanted to do it again with a different perspective. The thing in my life that is the most important to me is goals. When it was all done, I started thinking: is writing another book the goal? Because for years it was writing this one. For something to really be a goal it has to be bigger and it looks like I will be able to write the second one. So I began writing non-food related - with the goal of maybe someday I will do something completely unrelated to food, which has given me life again. That's one of the most amazing things about life: there's always more to do, there's always more to learn and there's always more to see. Unfortunately for a lot of us - myself included - that can be really overwhelming. When am I going to do this? When am I going to travel? I don't have enough money. I can't do this. There are so many things that are out of reach but the actual beauty of having things that you like to do - whether you get to do them or not - is the most amazing part of life. There's nothing that will feel you more alive than that. It was something amazing with wow, I've reached a goal I didn't think I could accomplish so now who knows what I can do? I feel like your life doesn't have a lot of purpose if you're not thinking that way and it doesn't always have to be about work. For me, I love to see the bounds of my creativity and push myself the way this whole process pushed me. Because when it was over it was amazing but the crash afterwards - I couldn't believe how sad I was. I'm thirty and I accomplished this goal I always had - now what? If I don't have a new goal, I feel like I'm floating so finding the next goal is the next, exciting thing.

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