Identity

Life for me is one big celebration of everything beautiful. Science, art, true human connection, music, fashion, nature... it all makes me so happy I can't breathe. There's no better moment for me than seeing sheer joy in the eyes of someone I love (okay, maybe it's better if I made it happen), nothing more astounding then when I realize just how massive the scale of our universe is when looking at the stars, no instance more touching than the way a violin bow seems to brush against the strings of the very core of my being rather than against the violin itself.

Passions and pleasures: girl, how long you got? First and foremost, I'm obsessed with identity. On a biological level, what constitutes our makeup? Genetics is my academic orgasm and I never cease to be stupified by the level of intricacy the world has created us with. We are all these weaves of different layers of information that come together to make the tapestry of our beings and despite how much we know, we really know nothing at all and that's so badass. Then, once you have all that in place, you have psychology, which is this whole other huge aspect of identity. Two people can be genetically the exact same but the sum of their experiences creates two entirely different human beings. The way that your experiences, successes, failures, loves, heartbreaks, challenges and resilience all come together to create a coherent psyche is beyond my comprehension. I adore studying people by getting to know them, understanding what is it they hold dear and why that is. What challenges do they face and what has put them in that position? Why do they act the way they do? My best, most comprehensive and most enduring study is myself.

I get out of bed in the morning because there's no way I'm even close to being half the person I know I can be. I haven't touched enough people in a positive way, haven't seen enough of the world, haven't gotten enough education to feel like I know enough. It's just, I'm not the best possible version of me yet. I'm kickass and I'm awesome and I'm enough, but I'm not at the same time, so why not spend the day making myself better?

There's nothing more annoying to me than people who automatically assume the worst in everything and everyone. I do it too, so it's totally normal, but I feel it becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy most of the time so I always try to snap myself or other people out of it. Im also super impatient and a control freak. A major control freak. I can't stand when I don't have my next steps laid out in life and I'm consciously trying to break the fear & uncertainty that I always feel with that and I've made great progress in other areas of my life that I have previously excessively tried to control. And I hate not having a routine. I'm a creature of routine in the worst way.

I stand for love right now and I always will. Our society has made love into this concept that two people share in a romantic relationship and yeah, that's cool, but it's so much more. It's the small things and it's so easy to put some more out there. Wish your barista a good day, encourage someone when they're making positive changes, help the mom with her stroller up the subway stairs, hug your best friend super tight, extend understanding even when it kills you to do so. Kindness is love and we forget it's all about the small things when we get so busy and self-absorbed in our own stuff. You never know the difference you can make in someone's day or life by being kind and being loving.