Diving In

Rebounding from the loss of a parent while on the precipice of a new relationship, I dove in deep and made it to the other side. I found love, found that I was stronger than I realized and that with time, I was going to be fine. During this time it was really tumultuous and really horrible but also really amazing because I met this person during the hardest thing I've ever gone through. He made me smile again. After not being able to sleep for over a month, he called me one day when I couldn't sleep and he starts singing a song to me and talking about life. After this touching moment, he says, "I have to go - there's a weasel that's about to fall from the ceiling. Also, I took a lot of Ambien." And just hangs up the phone. For the first time in a month I just start laughing. It was one of those cathartic laughs when you realize that you're going to laugh again. I'm going to be alright. When I think about my year, that really shaped it because rather than sitting with being depressed and lost in everything that I lost - it was like: go forward. Say yes to this relationship. But also, not being satisfied with things as they are and realizing that if you don't like your job, start to look for a new one. If you have a friendship that is toxic, break it off. If there's something that you don't like or you feel is an injustice, speak up about it. I've had this year that was self-affirming in going after what you want, work hard for it and taking pride in that. Don't be apologetic about the things that you want and don't put yourself on the back burner. Go after things. The relationship propelled that type of thinking because it was something I was working for.I wanted to get back to being that person that laughed again and wanting to go out. That was my transformative year in wanting to dive into things.