STRENGTH

I choose to celebrate how strong I am. My son passed away 10 years ago at only 4 days old. Within a year after that, my husband divorced me. I was in a terribly dark place for a very long time. Even though my son’s passing has forever changed me, I have emerged from the tragedy and chose to pick myself up and try to live the best life I can. I’ve lost out on a lot of happiness. I need to make up for a lot of lost time. I wouldn't say that my whole life from that point has felt empty but there's an emptiness in my life because I don't have him anymore. I just want to be happy. That pain is still so fresh and real. It never goes away. I made a promise to myself all those years ago that I don't want to lose myself too. I lost everything when he passed away. I thought I had the life I always dreamed of: I was married, pregnant, I had a house. When he passed, soon after that - I lost everything. My husband left me. We sold the house. Everything that I thought I wanted in life was gone. I feel like I could have turned to all sorts of things to get me out of bed in the morning but I didn't. I went through my grief and did it for myself. I did it because I think he would want me to. It was me pushing myself to not succumb to what I thought was the absolute worst thing that could happen. Patrick has taught me that life is really short. Love the people that are around you. Don't take anything for granted. It really is a short time that we're here and so try to make yourself as happy as you can however that is or whatever that means to you. I don't always live by those words but they are so true.